Just wanted to share a few pictures of Logan playing dress up, which is one of his newest favorite things to do!!  Taking pictures of him is pretty difficult but I think I managed to get a couple decent ones :)  

Logan is doing quite well these days.  Finally liking school and really starting to blossom in the new environment.  He is constantly singing new songs and telling stories he has learned from class.  It is quite awesome really :)  To listen to him talk so much, definitely got that from Dada.  But he can be out-right mischievous at times.  Well, most of the time ;)   We're working on that though!! Otherwise, I'd have to say we are doing pretty well.  Just preparing for the holidays and Buddy's upcoming wedding in Vegas!

Logan Pics from Hospice of the Valley

Well, as promised, here are the pictures that were taken of us at Hospice of the Valley.  The first picture of us is actually in all of their new brochures :)  Logan is quite the celebrity with all the staff!!  Of course, everyone loves him especially since he is the baby!   

More of Logan's Birthday Party Pictures

I can't believe my baby boy is growing up so fast!!!!

And Then You Were Three

You turned three years old this last week, young enough that some folks would count your age in months and it boggles the mind the life lessons you've faced and the wisdom you have shared in 36 short months.

By the time you are old enough to read this letter you will understand that you were born on an infamous date in our history. September 11th is seared into the souls of many of your mother's and grandparents generations as a day of sorrow, hopelessness and venerability.

No one would argue that in many ways your first 3 years of life have reflected the emotions invoked by the tragedy of 9/11/01 but against the odds you are the embodiment of the wisdom available to us all as we move forward. You are a rough and tumble, bundle of hope, tenacity and vibrant spirit.

You have learned that life is a delicate thing and that loss is possible no matter how unfair. You taught us all that grief has nothing to do with age. That we can grieve and still move forward, laugh as quickly as we once did and loose nothing of ourselves in the process.

You miss your Daddy and in missing him have become curious about heaven. At first it was all right that Daddy was with God and then just as quickly you were angry with God for "taking him away from you". You have worried that God is greedy and will want your Mommy or your Pagum but in no time you let go of that worry and returned to living in each moment, a wonderful lesson for us all.

Logan you gobble up life as if it was a piece of the chocolate you love so much. You want to know the "why" of everything and will quietly listen to our answers to your many questions. It is obvious to us that you listen even when we aren't talking directly to you from the many wonderful things that fall out of your mouth.

Thursday night as we kicked around balloons and waited for your Mommy to finish dinner you ran from one room to the next all arms and legs at angles singing "Lets get this party started" over and over.

To delay bedtime you told Mommy "I need something, something to reach over the orange tree and grab the sun" in a quest to keep it in the sky.

You will tell us that we make you angry or frustrated once you have regained your words after a temper tantrum and quietly let us know "I feel better now" reminding us all that a good cry does a body good.

You resisted being potty trained until one day you just were. Day, night the whole deal in a heart beat. You told anyone who would listen that you "were in potty training" as if it was a place and I guess for you it was. In this as in most things in your life you are fiercely independent, you don't want to be asked if you need to go potty, you simply announce "I'll be right back" jump up, go about your business and upon your return say proudly "I told you I'd be back!".

You know your ABC's, can count to 10, know most of the colors and next week you will begin a new path on your journey by starting preschool. Mommy, Pagum and I all think you are past ready for this first step away from us and know we have kept you closer to home more for our sake than yours. But as you toured your new school, as you entered each room you threw your arms out wildly announcing for all to hear "I like this room!".

So we all stand back in awe as you mark this milestone in life and show us every day how to turn sorrow into joy, hopelessness into hope and embrace the vulnerability that is inherent in life.

Happy Birthday Baby Boy you are our gift from God and I pray every day that I grow up to be just like you.

Much Love,

Mommers

In honor of Bill

This week as been difficult for me, anticipating my first wedding anniversary since Bill's death so I wanted to do something in memory of our marriage and life we shared.

On September 8th Bill and I would have been married for 6 years.  Bill was diagnosed with a brain tumor, just weeks before our first wedding anniversary and although our marraige was anything but easy he was my best friend.  He gave me the most beautiful fairtale wedding any girl could ever ask for. But, without a doubt, te greatest gift he left of himself was our son, Logan.  My life with Bill was an emotional roller coaster and honestly still is.  I experienced true love, the fear of loss, joy with the birth of our son, anger with life and doubt in my strength and abilities.  But most of all he taught me the true values of life.  To NEVER give up, to love with all your heart and soul, to live in the present and to be compassionate.  I will forever be grateful for my life with Bill and the opportunity I was given to care for him until his very last breath.  It was an honor to be his wife.  I am grateful to be able to watch our son grow and every time I look at him I see Bill.  I miss him more than I ever thought possible but I know I will see him again some day on the other side.

My First Time

Well I finally decided to try this blog thing so here it goes!  Life in here in California has been pretty crazy lately.  I can't believe it and as most of your already know Logan is going to be 3 years old on Sept. 11th.  So I've been trying to put together a small Thomas the Train birthday party for him.  It's just a couple of his friends and mostly family but he already knows he's getting a jumpy house and cake.  He's so excited, he keeps telling me it's almost birthday party time :)  He is growing up so fast I can't believe it.  He is totally potty trained, no diapers at all.  I just told him Mommy didn't have the money to buy diapers anymore and that was it.  I think in the last 2 weeks he's only had 2 accidents!!  Not too bad if you ask me.  Plus, I finally found a school I really like for him.  He will be starting Preschool in just a week or so at Bethel Preschool and Kindergarten just down the street from mom and dad's house.  They have awesome classrooms, security camera's everywhere and a structured schedule.  It has been difficult to find some place where the staff is comfortable with the fact that this 3 year old will ask questions about death and God.  And I figured it's not such a bad idea for him to learn more about God and Heaven.

As for me I'm starting to look for work, probably going back into the medical field.  I've been having some difficulties with the bank regarding the home mortgage and the constant paper work and phone calls seem to be never ending.  Getting back into a schedule seems to be nearly impossible but I keep trying.  Other than that I've just been trying to enjoying my time with Logi.  He s definitely in the terrible 2/ horrific 3 phase.  He's stubborn and loves to test the boundaries but he's also incredibly smart and outgoing.  He's a typical boy and has no fear when it comes to new adventures.  These days it's almost impossible to keep the house clean because he loves to take the couch cushions and build hiding forts.  And he thinks it's so cool to pretend to drive in my truck which really means turning all the knobs and taking everything out of all the compartments.  If he can get his hands on any tools watch out because here comes my engineer :)  He will try to disassemble any and everything and pretend to put them back together.  He's a handful and yet so amazing to watch and play with.  He definitely has a vivid imagination and without a doubt is so much like Bill.   It's awesome!!!  

Mom and Dad are doing well and actually getting ready to go on a well deserved 3 week vacation.  Dad has gone back to work which I'm sure he is grateful to finally be back in the work force again.  Mom's company recently downsized so I know she's been feeling overwhelmed and swamped.  So I'm glad they finally are taking some time together to get away and really have some fun!!

Buddy is still my 'lil hard worker :)  He's working at Terminex as a sales manager.  He is in a relationship with a wonderful beautiful girl who is absolutely loved by everyone in the family.  She has 2 little girls Raina and Alana  who Logan loves to play with.  It's so cool to see my brother play with the kids he is such an awesome daddy figure :)  

So like I said life has been pretty crazy but over all it's good.  I hope everyone is doing well and I miss everyone.